But that doesn’t take away from the uphill climb that these couples have to face. And to aid you on your journey, here are a few tips that you should probably keep to heart if you really want your relationship to succeed.
1. Don’t put too much pressure on yourselves to engage in constant communication. Even talking to one another once a day is enough for you to be up-to-speed on each other’s lives. Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean that you have to compensate by texting each other every second of every single day. That’s a little bit excessive and just downright unhealthy.
2. Take this phase of your relationship as a learning opportunity. See it as a test for your love and your bond as a couple. If you are able to overcome this very significant speed bump in your relationship, then it’s likely that you will be able to conquer any mountain that you cross.
3. Always set your ground rules so that you are able to manage your expectations as a couple. It’s important that you are always communicating your needs, feelings, and expectations to one another on a consistent basis so that no one ever feels cheated or shortchanged. If you are feeling unfulfilled, speak up. Don’t expect your partner to be a mind-reader.
4. Mix things up with the way that you communicate with one another. In this modern age, you have a plethora of options at your disposal. You can video chat every once in a while. You can have daily phone calls. You can exchange random text messages. Heck. You can even go old-school and send out some snail mail to one another. The point is to be as creative and as fresh as can be.
5. Avoid sketchy situations as much as possible. If you know that it makes your partner uncomfortable for you to be out at the bar late at night, then just don’t stay out too late. It’s not that you are trying to control one another. It’s just that you want to be avoiding potential points of unnecessary conflict. You don’t want to be adding any more friction to your difficult relationship at this point.
6. Try to do things “together” to simulate that sense of camaraderie and connection in your relationship. Try learning the same hobbies even though you’re far apart. Read the same books. Watch the same movies. Go online shopping together. Get creative and bond with one another in as many ways as you can.
7. Always make it a point to visit one another whenever possible. Sure, there are many things to take into consideration such as time and finances; and that’s why you need to be smart about it. You still have to try to see one another whenever the opportunity presents itself.
8. Always keep your goals in mind. Be forward-thinking. Know that the situation that you’re in is merely a temporary one and that you’re working towards the ideal state of your relationship. Embrace the grind and just keep on working towards the future that you want for yourselves as a couple.
9. Make it a point to always stay honest and open with one another. It can be very easy to lie to your partner when they’re far away from you. But don’t. Resist that temptation. No healthy relationship can ever be built on a lie.
We often eat with our hearts and stomachs in mind, but how often do we consider how foods affect extremely specific body parts?
First things first though: no matter what we eat, the benefits are holistic — it goes where our bodies need it.
But, let’s say, if you know, that apples and carrots are good for your prostate and penis health, wouldn’t you be inclined to eat these foods more often?
That’s the goal of our below-the-belt food list.
Instead of eating as if your penis needs special attention, fill your day with foods that optimize your whole body, and in turn, help your blood bring the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals your penis needs to function. (Erectile dysfunction in younger men is rising and about 1 in 9 men will develop prostate cancer in their lifetime.)
On the plus side, enhancing your diet just might help with other concerns, such as heart disease, hormonal imbalances, fat burn, and more.
From prostate cancer, low T-levels, ED, and possibly infertility, these foods are here to help.
1. Spinach to boost testosterone levels
Spinach worked for Popeye, and it’ll help you, too.
Spinach is a super source of folate, a known blood flow-booster. Folic acid plays a critical role in male sexual function and a deficiency in folic acid has been linkedTrusted Source to erectile dysfunction.
Cooked spinach contains 66 percent of your daily folic acid requirement per cup, making it one of the most folate-rich foods around. Additionally, spinach contains a fair amount of magnesium, which also helps improve and stimulate blood flow and has been shownTrusted Source to boost testosterone levels.
Spinach for penile health
A good source of folic acid which may help prevent erectile dysfunction.
Contains magnesium which has been shown to boost testosterone.
Pro-tip: Try our favorite spinach recipes for your next date night.
2. A daily cup of coffee for better sex
Your morning cup of java can be a below-the-belt pick-me-up, too!
Studies have found that drinking two to three cups of coffee a day may prevent erectile dysfunction. This is thanks to coffee’s most beloved ingredient: caffeine.
Caffeine is shownTrusted Source to improve blood flow by relaxing penile arteries and muscles, leading to stronger erections. Cheers!
Caffeine for penile health
Caffeine has been shown to prevent erectile dysfunction.
Improves blood flow by relaxing penile arteries and muscles.
Pro-tip: Not a fan of coffee? You can get your daily caffeine fix from Yerba Mateor matcha instead.
3. Apple peels to prevent prostate cancer
Apples have some great all-around health benefits, but one of their lesser known advantages pertains to penis health.
Apple peels, in particular, contain the active compound ursolic acid. This compound has been shown in cell studiesTrusted Source to stop the growth of prostate cancer cells by “starving” the cells. Still, you should always follow a medical professional’s treatment plan when faced with prostate cancer.
EAT MORE FRUITS AND VEGGIESGrapes, berries, and turmeric also have similar effects. StudiesTrusted Source
suggest that men who consume more fruits and vegetables in general have better odds at beating prostate cancer.
Apples for penile health
Contain an active compound that may starve prostate cancer cells.
Men who consume more fruits and vegetables have a better prostate cancer survival rate.
Pro-tip: The cancer-fighting compound is contained in the peel so be sure to eat your apples with the skin on. You can also make dried apple chips or apple peel tea.
4. Supercharge your libido with avocados
The Aztecs were on to something when they named the avocado tree the “testicle tree.”
An excellent source of healthy fats, potassium, and vitamins, avocados are great for getting you in the mood.
This toast-topper favorite has vitamin E and zinc, both of which have positive effects on male sex drive and fertility. Zinc has been suggested to increase levels of free testosterone in the body, while vitamin E may improve sperm qualityTrusted Source.
Avocados for penile health
Contain zinc which increases testosterone levels.
Are a good source of vitamin E which improves sperm quality.
Pro-tip: Out of ideas beyond guacamole and toast? Find inspiration with our 23 delicious ways to eat an avocado.
5. Chili peppers to spice up the bedroom
Can you handle the heat? Studies have found that men who consume spicy foods have higher-than-average testosterone levels.
While this doesn’t mean spicy food gives you testosterone, the chemical capsaicin has been shown to have bedroom advantages.
Found in hot sauce and chili peppers, capsaicin triggers the release of endorphins — the “feel good” hormone — and can rev up the libido.
Chili peppers for penile health
Men who eat spicy foods have higher-than-average T-levels.
Capsaicin found in chili peppers triggers the release of endorphins.
Pro-tip: There’s more health benefits to spicy foods than a healthy libido.
6. Carrots keep your sperm healthy
Looking to improve your sperm count? Science says to eat more carrots.
This fertility superfood may improve both sperm count and motility (the movement and swimming of sperm).
Research suggests this is due to the chemical carotenoids found in carrots, which is also responsible for giving the vegetable its orange color.
Carrots for penile health
Research finds that carrots can improve male fertility.
Carotenoids found in carrots may improve sperm quality and motility.
Pro-tip: Another vegetable high in carotenoids is sweet potatoes, which makes our list of the 14 healthiest vegetables on earth alongside carrots.
7. Oats for a bigger O
Oatmeal might not come to mind when you think of the world’s sexiest foods — but maybe it should!
Oats can be beneficial for reaching orgasm and Avena Sativa (wild oats) is considered an aphrodisiacTrusted Source. The amino acid L-arginine found in oats has also been shownTrusted Source to treat erectile dysfunction.
Like Viagra, L-arginine helps penile blood vessels relax, which is essential to maintaining an erection and reaching orgasm.
Oats for penile health
Wild oats are a known aphrodisiac.
Amino acids found in oats relax blood vessels and can help with erectile dysfunction.
Pro-tip: New to oats? Try our quick and easy 10-minute overnight oats, made three ways.
8. Tomatoes are a penile health trifecta
Want all the benefits in one punch? Start with tomatoes.
Tomatoes include several of the benefits listed above and can be eaten in a variety of ways.
Research showsTrusted Source lycopene-rich foods, like tomatoes, may help prevent prostate cancer.
Tomatoes might also be beneficial to male fertilityTrusted Source and sperm quality — as tomatoes seem to significantly improve sperm concentrationTrusted Source, motility, and morphology.
Tomatoes for penile health
Help prevent prostate cancer.
Are beneficial to male fertility and improve sperm concentration, motility, and morphology.
Pro-tip: Too busy to make your own marinara? You don’t just have to cook with tomatoes. Try drinking tomato juice for a quick and healthy way to get your daily lycopene.
Well, that’s fine. In your world, you might think that cheating is purely just about whether or not you have sex with someone else. However, that isn’t going to cut it if you’re actually going to get into a relationship with someone else. Even though you don’t consider casual flirtation to be cheating, your partner might feel offended and betrayed by that. And you have to be sensitive about how they feel if you want to keep them in your life.
So, what are the other kinds of cheating that you might not be aware of?
Well, just read on until the end of this article.
1. Emotional infidelity.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that cheating only ever counts when you have sex with someone else. To a lot of people, even the simple act of getting into an emotional affair with a third party would be enough to be considered cheating.
2. Putting a friendship above the relationship.
You have to be able to make that delineation between your friendships and your romantic relationship. You always need to be able to prioritize your romantic relationship even if you still try to make an effort to maintain your casual friendships in your life. It’s all about balance after all. The moment you start compromising your relationship in favor of your friendships, then that’s when you’re wrong.
3. Mental infidelity.
Even when you get into a relationship with someone, it’s normal for you to still find other people attractive. That’s part of being human after all and you shouldn’t be faulted for that. However, you can control HOW you think about that person. You never want to be allowing yourself to get lost in wild fantasies involving someone else. That is still a form of cheating.
4. Financial infidelity.
Financial infidelity is something that a lot of people are guilty of committing even when they aren’t really aware of it. Whenever you try to keep your partner in the dark about your financial situation, then it’s always going to be a form of cheating. You are deceiving your partner. Financial openness and honesty are always important in establishing a bond in a romantic relationship.
5. Putting a family member above the relationship.
It’s always okay to still make family a priority in your life. After all, even before you met your significant other, you had your family behind you to support you and hold your hand as you made your way through life. However, being in a romantic relationship carries with it a different kind of commitment. And it’s important to never devote ALL of your time to your family if it means neglecting your partner.
This is the kind of cheating that happens over the internet. And sometimes, it can even be done anonymously. It’s just two people who are trying to flirt with each other as they hide behind computer screens. You might think that this kind of cheating is okay because you think that it wouldn’t really lead anywhere really. You might think that it only exists in a virtual space delegitimizes its validity.
However, it’s still very much a real form of cheating that can have some very dangerous risks and possibilities.
For the person who struggles needlessly to find love, here’s a list of quotes that would create a paradigm shift for them:
#1: No one cares about someone who’s bent on self-sabotage, if you want to save the world from sinking, first pull yourself up and escape drowning.
#2: We have too many people claiming to be selfless but their love chokes everyone around them. How can you love people when you have not tested what you are offering on yourself.
#3: Love is not something you find in other people, it’s from your reservoir of self-love that you give to others. You need to look inside to see how lovable you are before you can share this with others.
#4: Everyone seems to be looking for love from other people. Eventually, we would all search forever for something that no one has found, what a miserable existence.
#5: I don’t want you promising me love when you’ve not even given yourself the tiniest bit of it. If it’s not good for you, why should it be good for me?
#6: Do us all a favor and love yourself vigorously and stop burdening everyone with a job you should be doing. No one is paid to love you, so do your job.
#7: Loving yourself is a science and an art, it’s the right combinations of hormones and a poetic almost lyrical awareness of your own person, giving yourself adequate doses of admiration and respect.
#8: The first love you should fight for is the one you have for yourself because in the very end when everyone else walks away, you alone would be walking towards yourself. You are the home you seek.
#9: There won’t be so much fake and toxic love if everyone feels adequately loved by themselves because love is not something shared by two starved people, it is an experience between two filled people.
Inspirational Love, Yourself Quotes or Self Love Quotes
#10: If you loved yourself enough, you would never accept less, you would have the strength to walk away from anything sub-par because you already know what perfection feels like.
#11: Self-love is a school, it’s where you learn every inch about yourself and decide to accept you for you, it’s this schooling that prepares you to recognize true love when it appears.
#12: There’s a difference between being conceited, arrogant or unduly proud and actually admiring what makes you who you are, giving yourself so much love that others want to participate in loving you.
#13: A healthy dose of confidence, pride and dignity are required for relationships, you cannot have this from two people who have no idea how to even love themselves not to talk of the other person.
#14: Loving yourself is the most noble thing you could ever do, it’s a preparation necessary for building healthy and wholesome relationships with others. Don’t skip this.
#15: Falling in love with someone is not as important as falling in love with yourself because it’s that person in the mirror that would reflect love to those around you.
#16: I have found that most people who fail in their relationships are usually too busy loving other people that they starve themselves of love and affection. It’s the fastest way to heartbreak.
#17: It’s easier to teach people about themselves, how to be happy, how to be whole and to care for their own selves than to teach them how to love strangers who are just as illiterate.
#18: If you can be there for yourself and forgive yourself when you fail, it would be so much easier to do the same for others. Self-love is the best way to love others.
Inspirational Quotes About Loving Yourself
#19: What inspires you to give selflessly is the fact that you are selfishly committed to protecting your own interest. You protect those you love because they are your interest and you are protective of them.
#20: Moving a mountain is so much easier when you are first to benefit from the move and loving yourself is what makes it easy to go extra miles for those who love you.
#21: If you think what you need is someone who looks after you, looks our for you, and you are miserable that no one seems to be doing this, why not just do it yourself?
#22: Why is everyone so fixated on making people happy when they are themselves miserably sad and lonely? There’s no sense in killing yourself just to please someone else, live for your own happiness.
#23: Love does not bury you to make others center-stage of your life, rather it teaches you to command the ship, save yourself before saving others.
#24: The sense of self, of being, that ability to look at one’s self and accept all that you see, that is called self-love and it’s the state every human must aspire to attain.
#25: We often time think self-love is harmful because it excludes others but this is not true. Loving yourself is what creates space in your heart to include others in a healthy way.
#26: Don’t worry that people around you want to be happy and fulfilled, we all want to be. Worry when they want these things at your own expense.
#27: Be resolute about defending your happiness, even if it costs you everyone in the room.
It’s not uncommon to look for ways to boost your sex drive.
Although some pharmaceutical drugs like Viagra may help, many people prefer natural alternatives that are readily available, discreet, and likely to have fewer side effects.
Interestingly, research has shown that several foods and supplements may help boost your libido and treat erectile dysfunction.
Here are 7 foods and supplements that may act like Viagra to boost your libido.
Tribulus terrestris is a small leafy plant whose roots and fruit are popular in traditional Chinese and Ayurvedic medicine
It’s also widely available as a sports supplement and commonly marketed to boost testosterone levels and improve sex drive.
While human studies haven’t shown that it can raise testosterone levels, it appears to increase sex drive in both men and women.
In a 90-day study in women reporting low sexual pleasure, taking 750 mg of Tribulus terrestris daily increased sexual satisfaction in 88% of participants (
What’s more, a 2-month study in men revealed that taking 750–1,500 mg of Tribulus terrestrisdaily improved sexual desire in 79% of them
However, studies in men with erectile dysfunction show mixed results.
One study found that taking 800 mg of this supplement daily for 30 days did not treat erectile dysfunction. Conversely, in another study, taking 1,500 mg daily for 90 days improved erections, as well as sexual desire
As such, more research is needed on Tribulus terrestris and erectile dysfunction.
Tribulus terrestris may help raise libido in men and women. Yet, results regarding its ability to treat erectile dysfunction are inconsistent, so more research is needed.
Maca (Lepidium meyenii) is a root vegetable traditionally used to enhance fertility and sex drive. You can buy supplements in various forms, including powders, capsules, and liquid extracts.
A 12-week study noted that 42% of men who took 1,500–3,000 mg of maca daily experienced an increased sex drive
Furthermore, in a review of 4 studies in 131 people, taking maca consistently for at least 6 weeks improved sexual desire. It also helped treat mild erectile dysfunction in men
Additionally, some evidence suggests that maca may help combat the loss in libido that may occur as a side effect of certain antidepressant drugs
Most studies found that taking 1.5–3.5 grams daily for at least 2–12 weeks was sufficient to boost libido
Maca may help boost libido and improve erectile function in men with mild erectile dysfunction.
3. Red ginseng
Ginseng — and red ginseng in particular — may aid low libido and improve sexual function.
A 20-week study in 32 menopausal women found that taking 3 grams of red ginseng per day significantly improved sexual desire and function, compared with a placebo
In addition, red ginseng may boost the production of nitric oxide, a compound that aids blood circulation and helps muscles in the penis relax. In fact, studies have revealed that this herb was at least twice as effective as a placebo at enhancing erectile function (
However, other studies have found no effect of red ginseng on libido or sexual function, and some experts question the strength of these studies
Thus, more research is needed.
Red ginseng is generally well tolerated but may cause side effects, such as headaches and upset stomach. It may also interact with medications like blood thinners, so those who take them may want to consult a medical professional before use
Red ginseng may boost libido and enhance erectile function, though more research is needed.
Fenugreek is a popular herb in alternative medicine that may help enhance libido and improve sexual function.
It contains compounds that your body may use to produce sex hormones, such as estrogen and testosterone
A 6-week study in 30 men found that supplementing with 600 mg of fenugreek extract daily increased strength and improved sexual function.
Similarly, an 8-week study in 80 women with low libido determined that taking 600 mg of fenugreek daily significantly improved sexual arousal and desire, compared with the placebo group
That said, very few human studies have examined fenugreek and libido, so more research is needed.
In addition, this herb interacts with blood-thinning medications, such as warfarin. If you’re on a blood thinner, you should speak with your medical practitioner before taking fenugreek.
Fenugreek may boost libido in both men and women by encouraging the production of sex hormones.
Saffron is a delicious spice derived from the Crocus sativus flower.
Its many traditional uses range from reducing stress to acting as an aphrodisiac, especially for people on antidepressants.
A 4-week study in 38 women with a low libido on antidepressants found that taking 30 mg of saffron daily significantly improved several sexual issues, such as decreased arousal and lubrication, compared to a placebo
Similarly, in a 4-week study in 36 men who struggled with desire and arousal related to antidepressant use, taking 30 mg of saffron daily significantly improved erectile function, compared with taking a placebo
What’s more, a review of 5 studies in 173 people noted that saffron significantly improved various aspects of sexual pleasure, desire, and arousal in men and women
However, in people who don’t have depression or are not taking antidepressants, results are mixed
Saffron may boost libido in people on antidepressants, but its effects are inconsistent in those not taking these drugs.
6. Gingko biloba
Gingko biloba is a popular herbal supplement in traditional Chinese medicine.
It may treat various issues, including sexual disorders like erectile dysfunction and low libido, as it can raise blood levels of nitric oxide, which aids blood flow by promoting the expansion of blood vessels .
That said, studies in humans reveal mixed results.
One 4-week study in 63 people found that taking an average dose of 209 mg of gingko biloba daily helped treat antidepressant-related sexual dysfunction — low levels of desire, arousal, and/or pleasure — in 84% of participants
However, several other studies have shown that gingko biloba had little to no impact on libido or other aspects of sexual dysfunction
Gingko biloba may treat various aspects of sexual dysfunction because it can raise levels of nitric oxide. However, studies are inconsistent.
L-citrulline is an amino acid naturally produced by your body.
Your body then converts it into L-arginine, which helps improve blood flow by producing nitric oxide to dilate your blood vessels. This, in turn, may treat erectile dysfunction
For example, a small, monthlong study in 24 men with mild erectile dysfunction found that taking 1.5 grams of L-citrulline daily significantly improved symptoms in 50% of participants (
In another 30-day study in men, taking a daily combination of 800 mg of L-citrulline and 300 mg of trans-resveratrol improved erectile function and hardness, compared with the placebo treatment
Trans-resveratrol, commonly known as resveratrol, is a plant compound that functions as an antioxidant and is linked to numerous health benefits.
L-citrulline is available as a dietary supplement in capsule or powder form but is naturally present in foods like watermelon, dark chocolate, and nuts.
L-citrulline may aid men with erectile dysfunction because it can raise blood nitric oxide levels.
Other potential aphrodisiacs
Several other foods and supplements are commonly promoted as libido-boosting. However, they don’t have as much supporting evidence.
Here are several foods that may boost your libido:
Oysters. Several animal studies indicate that oysters may boost your libido, but there is no human research in this area
Chocolate. Although chocolate is widely believed to boost libido, especially in women, little evidence supports this
Nuts. Some evidence suggests that nuts, especially pistachios, may boost libido in men. However, more research is needed (
Watermelon. This popular fruit is a good source of L-citrulline, which may help with erectile dysfunction. Yet, no human studies have examined watermelon intake and erectile dysfunction or libido.
Chasteberry. There’s some evidence that chasteberries can ease premenstrual syndrome (PMS) symptoms in women, but there’s no evidence that it offers libido-boosting effects
Coffee. This popular beverage contains caffeine and polyphenols, which some studies link to a lower risk of erectile dysfunction. However, more human research is needed
Horny goat weed. This herb contains compounds that may affect blood flow to the penis and has been linked to improved erectile function in animal studies. However, more human research is needed .
Alcohol. Although alcohol may help people get in the mood, it does not boost libido. In fact, a high intake has been linked to sexual dysfunction
Many other foods and supplements may boost libido, but they’re supported by less scientific evidence.
The bottom line
If you’re looking to boost your sex drive, you’re not alone.
A few foods and supplements may even act as aphrodisiacs, including tribulus, maca, red ginseng, fenugreek, saffron, gingko biloba, and L-citrulline.
Due to limited human research, it’s unclear how these foods and supplements compare with pharmaceutical libido boosters like Viagra.
That said, most of these are well tolerated and widely available, making them easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Keep in mind some of these libido-boosting foods and supplements may interact with certain drugs. If you take medication, you may want to consult a medical professional beforehand.
Okay, you might be thinking: Why would I want to write a handwritten letter? Especially considering how many communicative mediums we have today. Today’s technology has made the exchange of words faster, quicker, and easier viatexting, emailing, Instagram DMing, Snapchats, gifs, etc.But that doesn’t mean the way we communicate is as effective as it could be.
When it comes to expressing how you feel—and I mean how you really, really feel—to your significant other, modern-day communication just cannot beat a tangible, pen-to-paper love note. It puts every “u up?” text you’ve ever received to shame.
“A love letter is an opportunity to show your partner you are in love with them, and this will get reinforced every time they read your words,” explains relationship expert Anita Chlipala.
A wonderful love letter should make the recipient feel cherished, adored, special, and secure—and no, you don’t need to be a pro wordsmith to get this across. “It’s important not to feel pressure for it to be a perfect letter,” says Chlipala. “Have it come from the heart, and it’s fine to go through a few drafts before you give it to your partner.”
Don’t know where to start? Put down your iPhone, pick up a pen, and follow these nine guidelines for shaping a romantic and personal love letter to your love.
STEP 1: START WITH WHAT PROMPTED THIS LETTER
Perhaps it’s the anniversary of the first day you met and you want to commemorate the occasion, or maybe your partner recently stepped up and supported you in a big way when you really needed them. Let them know straight-up why you’re writing this letter. And hey, maybe there’s no reason other than you feeling especially close to them lately and wanting to share your feelings, which is totally reason enough.
STEP 2: CONSIDER YOUR PARTNER’S PERSONALITY
Is your beau mushy-gushy or all about humor? As you pen the body of this love note, Chlipala encourages you to consider what tone will resonate with your partner versus what you would want to read. If he’s the funny guy, sappy prose might make him uncomfy and think, “Is this letter even for me?”
STEP 3: RECALL A SIGNIFICANT MOMENT
Personalize your letter with an IRL memory—it can be the tender moment you fell in love, when you first realized they were different from everyone else, or the night you guys spent on the couch that meant the world to you. A real snip-it from the ticker tape of your relationship will ground your letter. (Just be sure to take your S.O.’s personality into account here too.)
STEP 4: LIST A FEW REASONS YOU LOVE BAE
Count the ways! When making your list, “Include seemingly small things to show how much you pay attention to their words and actions,” says Chlipala. It can be the way they greet the dog, their epic use of emojis, or how they give the best hugs.
Next, round up a few of their big-picture characteristics that make them your favorite co-pilot in life. Perhaps they’re a amazing parent, awesome listener, GOAT lover, trustworthy partner, etc. Or, skip the long paragraphs and make your entire letter a list of what makes them awesome.
STEP 5: COMPLIMENT THEIR SELF-PERCEIVED FLAWS
“A top desire of people in relationships is to feel accepted for who they are,” says Chlipala. “Acknowledging what they view as their imperfections, and loving and accepting them anyway, can deepen feelings of security, trust, and passion.”
So maybe it’s their slightly crooked nose, the fact that they always leave the toilet seat up, or cute nervous ticks. Either way, remind your boo-thang that no one is perfect, but that makes you luurve them even more. To really drive things home, reinforce this sentiment with a famous quote, like: “People call these things imperfections, but they’re not. That’s the good stuff.” – Good Will Hunting.
STEP 6: LET YOUR PARTNER KNOW YOU WANT THEM (NAKED)
In Apuleius’ The Golden Ass, Psyche says to her husband, Eros, “”I would rather die a hundred times than be without your sweet love-making.” So if you think your man’’s big strong arms are sexy AF and it totally turns you on when he kisses your ear in bed, spell it out. “Feeling desired can be an important part of feeling loved, and it keeps the passion alive in a relationship,” says Chlipala.
STEP 7: FIND INSPO FROM SOME OF THE BEST
Expressing one’s feelings doesn’t come easily to everyone. If you can’t find the words, take inspiration (or direct quotes) from movies, books, songs, and celebrities that give you the feels, like any of the ones listed below. Copy-catting is encouraged, just be specific about why your quote of choice made you think of your S.O.
“We are so much ‘one’ that you are as vital to me as my own heart, with one exception: you could never be replaced with a transplant.” —Ronald Regan to Nancy Regan
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”— When Harry Met Sally
“You make it easy / Lovin’ up on you / Make it easy / With every little thing you do / You’re my sunshine in the darkest days / My better half, my saving grace / You make me who I wanna be.” —Jason Aldean, “Easy”
“I notice that I am with you. At that instant still full of sensations… my body feels surrounded by your arms.” —Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera
“O, she doth teach the torches to burn bright! / Did my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! / For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” — Romeo & Juliet
STEP 8: RELAY HARDSHIPS THAT MADE YOUR RELATIONSHIP STRONGER
It may seem counterproductive, but now’s the time to resurface some of those trying times from the past, like living long distance for a year or grieving over a loved one together. “Happy couples glorify their struggles and how those made them feel stronger and closer,” says Chlipala. “Tell your partner how you grew together from negative events and how having them at your side added purpose and meaning.”
STEP 9: TOUCH ON THE FUTURE
As humans, we’re wired to want real connections with other humans. We want to know that all our feelings are being reciprocated. “People long to feel both secure and desired in their relationship, and a meaningful way to do this is through making mention of spending your future together,” explains Chlipala.
Talk about a shared goal you still want to accomplish together, like buying a house or backpacking through Europe. Then, sign off by telling him you look forward to growing old, grey, and wrinkly in rocking chairs, side-by-side.
If you have a porn habit, but find yourself wanting a way out, you’re not alone. Maybe you found it for the first time on accident, years ago, when you were browsing the internet. Or maybe you found it in your parents’ room as a kid, and that jumpstarted an obsession. Regardless of how much this habit has become something you’re trying to get control of, we think it’s important for everyone to know the facts about the realities of pornography as one of the first steps to ditching it for good.
Including its addictive potential.
Not everyone is addicted
Let’s get one thing out of the way right up front—even if you habitually view porn, you may not be addicted to it. There’s a spectrum, here. Just like not everyone who abuses alcohol is necessarily an alcoholic, not every habitual porn consumer falls into the “addict” category.
According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, addiction is “a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory, and related circuitry.” It’s a disease, not just a problem, so it will be as such, in a specific manner. Just think if every person that had one drink of alcohol were treated as an alcoholic—there would be a serious problem. This is why it’s important to know where you stand, and from there, you can figure out how best to move forward.
And if you’re not sure where you fall on the spectrum, there are tests you can take and professionals you can talk to. s
The spectrum of addiction
Many people are completely unaware of the dangers of pornography, and go for years without realizing how it’s affecting them. Like we said before, you may not have even chosen to be exposed to porn in the first place. Statistically, it’s very likely that you fall in that category, and you first discovered it while you were just a kid, and now you’re fighting a habit that you’ve developed over the years.
, no matter where you are on the spectrum—from habit to obsession to addiction—if you believe you have some kind of an issue with pornography and you want to ditch it for good, you’ll need an action plan for starting your fight.
You might have heard our organization’s slogan: Porn Kills Love. You might know how much pornography can wreck your self-worth and your relationships, and that it can distort the idea of love and healthy sexuality. You have probably heard that it feeds the demand for human trafficking, and know the physical and emotional damage you can do to yourself and others because of porn. And with all of that, you may have decided that you don’t want to watch it anymore, which is awesome, but you have no idea how to stop.
So now what? How do you even get started combating something so widespread and persistent?
Where to begin?
Here are some things you can do right now to get started, if you’re deciding to ditch porn for good:
Breathe. Don’t panic. Try to get rid of the negative, shaming thoughts that will hold you back. Take a deep breath and remember that the fight is a marathon, not a sprint. Slow down, focus, and pace yourself. You can do this.
Evaluate the reasons you watch pornography. Frequently, a porn obsession is not actually just about satisfying a sexual need. Instead, it usually has to do with a failure to cope properly with overwhelming emotions or pain, and seeing porn as an escape from that.
So, why do you watch it? What emotions are you feeling before you do? Is it loneliness? Depression? Anxiety? Do you feel like there is too much in your life that is out of your control? Figuring what leads you to watch porn can help an incredible amount. When you really understand it, then you can work on coping properly.
Believe you can get help. It can be so easy to believe you are beyond help or that you don’t deserve it, but that is so far from the truth. There are a ton of ways you can get help, and whole communities with platforms like Fortify or NoFap that will support you every step of the way.
Tell someone you trust. You don’t have to go through this alone. One of the best ways to get help is to turn to someone who you can trust. People might not always respond perfectly, but you are going to need some people who are aware of what’s going on so they can help you. Just talking about these issues can make you feel supported as well as getting rid of some of the burden that comes with carrying this isolating issue.
Consider therapy and support groups. Just like if you have weak knees, you might consider physical therapy to strengthen them, similarly, if your mind needs strengthening when it comes to resisting pornography, you should consider going to therapy to learn how to condition it. There is even some training you can do to erase porn from your brain over time and rewire your way of thinking. Support groups can also be helpful to know that you aren’t the only one dealing with quitting addictive habits or behaviors. Opening up can be difficult, but keeping it all to yourself can lead you more into loneliness and isolation, which only feeds porn habits.
Join the movement. Signing the Fighter Pledge allows you to join over one million of other people all over the world that have chosen to be strong, open-minded, accepting, bold, rebellious, real, understanding, and encouraging by choosing real love over porn. Be proud to be part of a community that believes in love. You can rep the movement with some of our awesome merch from our store, and even book an event to help spread the word.
Educate yourself. There are dozens of amazing anti-sexual exploitation and porn-fighting organizations out there. Check out our blog, or academic resources like Gary Wilson’s “Your Brain On Porn”, or our research resource Truth About Porn. You can also watch our three-part documentary series for FREE called Brain, Heart, World. There is hope in education and awareness.
Why this matters
We fight because we believe everyone deserves to live their best, healthiest life possible, and that includes being aware and understanding how pornography can take away from real-life experiences and healthy relationships—including the healthy relationship you have with yourself.
In the end, pornography can detract from all the great things life has to offer, and viewers deserve to know the truth: watching isn’t worth it.
Astrology can tell you a lot about who you are, what’s going on in your life, and why—like, if Mercury is in retrograde, that may be why you’re facing some serious communication issues with bae. Or, why you should be sliding into your crush’s DMs today because, hi, love is in the air for your sign.
In fact, your zodiac sign could actually provide some major clues about your in-between-the-sheets game too, according to experts at Lovehoney.
The sex toy retailer recently analyzed the sex habits of all 12 star signs, and came out with a ton of findings. Peep the full results below from a survey they conducted on their online database of more than 3,500 respondents.
WHICH SIGN IS DOING THE DEED MOST OFTEN?
Aquarius! And coming in shortly after:
WHO HAS THE MOST PARTNERS?
WHO IS MOST SATISFIED WITH THEIR SEX LIFE?
According to LoveHoney’s survey, 21 percent of singles want to know their date’s star sign before catching feels for them. This makes sense when you consider how much you can learn about your new boo’s particular sex habits based on the zodiac. Here, some more revealing sexual info LoveHoney found for each sign:
Exciting and unpredictable lovers. An added plus? Aquarians are most likely to remain faithful to their partners.
Gentle and emotional lovers who live to please their S.O. Three out of five Pisces reportedly enjoy dressing up in the bedroom.
Direct, no-nonsense sex is preferred for this ram sign. Don’t expect them to stick around for cuddles, or get too far into foreplay either.
Quickies are not for them. Passionate lovers who want to take their time exploring their partner’s body. According to the survey, they also buy more sex toys than any other sign.
All about the fun, light-hearted sex with giggles and laughs. Sex for them does not necessarily have to equate to love.
Prefer to have a strong emotional connection before engaging in sex, they are the most sensual lovers out of the Zodiac signs.
They love being the center of attention. Give them words of affirmation and all the compliments.
Diligent lovers who aim for perfection in the bedroom. No surprises for them, they enjoy getting down and dirty in the most technical of ways.
Easy-going and creative lovers, sex is all about sharing and connecting for them.
Intense, emotional, passionate, and a little mysterious, they can sometimes be possessive and have an intense sexual appetite.
Sags are most likely to enjoy a quickie, as they dislike routine and are easily bored.
They enjoy structure and pride themselves on being thorough lovers, but despite all the pre-planning that may go into it, they are excellent at experimenting.
I guess the final verdict is you should get yourself an Aquarius. Are there enough to make the world go round? Who knows. But, I’m calling dibs.
Have you ever wondered why your girl’s best friend does the things she does and never been able to understand why? It is possible she might have fallen for you; love is a trippy path full of traps after all.
If she does these 15 things, you can be sure about it.
She Tells Embarrassing Things About You To Your Current Date:
Whenever you leave her with the current girlfriend who you have just started going out with, she tells her every embarrassing secret of yours. It might be nothing more than a prank but it is possible she is trying to shoo away the new lady because she is just so jealous.
No Girl is Ever Good For You:
According to her, none of the girls you have ever dated is good enough for you. She always has enough reasons to not like the ex or the next. It can be a sign, it can be her saying that I don’t like to see you with anyone else but me, pick me’. You never know.
Makes You Look Bad:
Besides embarrassing you in front of your current girlfriend, she tells her the bad things you do like smoking, etc. That is some serious damage she is doing and you might even get angry but with a cool mind, think about why she is doing all of it. Is your best friend in love with you?
Makes HER Look Bad:
Remember how Rachel made Ross’s girlfriend go bald saying she looks amazing with a shaved head? Well, your crazy best friend is prone to doing something like that to your current girlfriend if she is in love with you like Rachel was with Ross. Make sure you don’t let her shave her head off and look for the sign.
She Pretends To Feel Bad About Your Breakups:
Quite obviously, she is supposed to give you space after you break up with someone and you will never really know if she is happy about it. This sign can be tricky to detect since she will try her best to look all sympathetic.
She was average anyway:
After saying Aww I am sorry she will help you get over her as quickly as possible, mostly because she wants to see you happy but also because she wants you to see her as the next potential girlfriend. Her condition is sad, although she keeps on wishing you would do that one day.
Keeps Her Love Life Dull:
If you think about it, she does not date a lot of guys and nothing ever works out for her. She either pushes them away or never goes out with them in the first place but loves to spend her time with you. It is okay to love your best friend but something is not okay if loving him is all you want to do.
She Actually Blushes When Teased:
Do you know how girls tend to give that girlish grin when someone teases them with the name of their crush? You will see that on her face whenever someone makes a joke about you two being too close’. People tease and you know they don’t mean anything but secretly, it means a lot to her.
Takes Interests in Your Interests:
She was not the athletic kind when she met you but now that you two have been close for a while, she tries to do everything with you even if it means playing football which she used to hate. All in all, she would find ways to be with you for as long as possible.
Loves To Have Sleepovers:
She is always ready to change her plans and schedule sleepovers with you. Although she would be very careful in not doing anything stupid, she just likes to be around you for the whole night. Deep conversations, movies, and pajamas, getting drunk with you and doing silly things make her happy.
Her Parents Love You:
Her parents love you and there are talks of you and him getting married in her family. She might tell you that it does not matter what they say but when she is alone, she likes to imagine all of it happening: your proposal, the ring and the grand affair of your marriage with her.
She Takes You To Parties:
At weddings and parties, you are her plus one. It is not necessary that she must have feelings for you if she takes you as her date but it is possible. She has been avoiding guys because of you and now that she has got a chance, she is going to walk with you hand-in-hand at weddings.
You Are Everywhere:
Her family vacations, her siblings’ birthday parties, and her relatives’ funerals, you are everywhere. If you do not volunteer, she asks you to come. She likes to have you everywhere she goes and for her family to know you. Best friends who do not have feelings do that too but it stops at a certain point. With her, it does not.
Her Siblings Just Can’t Stop:
Her siblings have seen her talk to you and they can tell: they just can’t stop telling you two to date, at last. Her parents might keep quiet but siblings are little devils who just cannot keep the truth from spilling out. So if her siblings tease you and keep asking you if you love’ her or if you have kissed her, they know that she has fallen.
Her Gifts Are Special:
Every year, her gifts mean a little something more than all the other gifts. More than anything, she puts thought and money in the gifts she gets you. It is never something ordinary. She will remember that one thing you asked for six months ago or that one super-expensive watch that you loved at the mall. She will use her gifts to say what she is unable to put in words: she, your best friend, loves you.
You don’t want to be so quick to throw a relationship away just because things get a little difficult. You always want to be strong enough to see things through. However, you also have to be strong enough to walk away from a relationship that just isn’t right for you. If you notice that a lot of the signs that are listed here actually apply to your relationship, then perhaps you should rethink your place in the relationship as a whole.
1. You engage in passive-aggressive behavior.
There should never be any room for passive-aggressive behavior in a relationship. Two people who are genuinely in love with one another would always make it a point to be communicative and open with one another. You should always feel comfortable with just being straight or honest with one another about everything. A failure to do so would be a terrible sign for your relationship as a whole.
2. You don’t forgive after a fight.
Forgiveness is key in any kind of intimate relationship. You aren’t always going to be doing the right thing after all. You are bound to make mistakes. And it’s important to stay patient with one another as you make mistakes throughout the course of your relationship. Holding on to any ill feelings or bitterness towards a partner is a recipe for disaster. You must always be able to move past mistakes and shortcomings.
3. You insult your partner to make them feel bad.
There is always going to be room for criticism in any kind of relationship. However, criticism should always be coming from a place of genuine love or concern for another person. If you are just insulting one another for the sake of making each other feel bad, then you should seriously reconsider being in a relationship together. That isn’t a healthy relationship behavior at all.
4. You don’t pursue your own individual interests.
Just because you get into a relationship doesn’t mean that you should lose all sense of who you are as an individual. Both of you should still be making it a point to pursue your own individual interests. You must both be working hard at maintaining your individuality in spite of being in a relationship with each other.
5. You engage in a flirtation with other people.
There is no way that a romantic relationship would ever be functional or healthy if both parties don’t take active roles in staying committed and focused on one another. If either of you finds it acceptable to engage in a flirtation with other people, then you know that that is a really big problem.
6. You invalidate each other’s feelings and opinions.
You have a habit of not paying attention to one another. You invalidate your partner’s feelings and opinions. Instead of making them feel like you are receptive of whatever they have to say, you just block them out. You don’t make it feel like whatever they want to express is important or is of value.
7. You give your partner ultimatums.
Ultimatums should never be used in relationships as tools for you to get what you want. These are abusive and manipulative tactics that should have no place in any kind of romantic relationship whatsoever. You should never threaten your partner into doing anything and you should never hold your relationship hostage.
8. You keep score in the relationship.
If you do something nice for your partner, do so just because you want to make them happy. You shouldn’t be keeping score of everything that you do for one another. You shouldn’t be keeping count of the ways that you treat each other nicely in the relationship. It’s not a contest and you shouldn’t be competing with one another.
9. You don’t open up to your partner.
You should always make it a point to open up to one another. A reluctance to do so is an indicator of some very deep-seated issues of mistrust and discomfort in a relationship. A strong and healthy romance always has plenty of openness and honest communication.
10. You fail to show appreciation for one another.
Lastly, the relationship is truly dysfunctional if you don’t let your partner know just how much you appreciate having them in your life. If you truly love and value one another, then you wouldn’t just be taking each other for granted.